Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
