He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
