On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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