i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
