so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
