i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
