Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
