I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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