when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
