my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
