You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
