I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
