I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
one might say we're banned from that church
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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