two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
