that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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