I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
