Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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