That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
