To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
