So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
