just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
