I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
