I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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