I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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