can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
