Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
