he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
