He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
