He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
