I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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