Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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