I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
