goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
