there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this will be a night to untag.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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