How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
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