my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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