your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
