Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
