I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
