Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
