so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
