her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
