at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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