it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
