With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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