1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
