sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize