Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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