You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
