Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
