Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The air was thick with penises
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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