I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
