"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize