i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
