Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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