how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
