I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
