Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
