So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
