I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
