I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
