Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
