I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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