i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
