I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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