You don't have asthma, your pregnant
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
