i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
