oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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