Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
